Sex 101

If you’re already having sex or are thinking about having sex for the first time, you probably have a lot of questions about how to go about it, how to keep yourself safe and how to get the most out of your sex life. Some questions may feel awkward to ask, or you may not know where to go to find answers. 

Sexual wellness is not only about preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy. It’s also about understanding and enjoying your sexuality and learning to communicate your boundaries and desires.

One of the most important things to remember is that everybody is different. What feels right for somebody else might not feel right for you. If you are thinking about becoming sexually active, ask yourself if it is what you want to do. Check in to ensure it is not something you feel pressured to do.

Sexually Transmitted Infections

If and when you decide to become sexually active, it’s important to be informed about sexually transmitted infections (STIs). STIs are common. Many don’t cause any noticeable symptoms, so a person might not realize they have an STI.

Some common STIs to be aware of are:

• chlamydia
• herpes
• gonorrhea
• HPV(human papilloma virus)
• syphilis
• HIV
• trichomoniasis
• pubic lice

Many people don’t have symptoms, but some do. These can include itching, burning, rashes, pain or discharge. 

Be sure to get STI testing if you do have any of these symptoms:

• Discharge from penis
• Changes in vaginal discharge
• Bumps, sores or a rash on the genital area (penis, vagina or anus)
• Blood in the urine
• Burning or unusual feeling when urinating
• Pain in the pelvis or testicles
• Pain during sexual activity and intercourse

The only way to know if you have an STI is to get tested. Most STIs are treatable, and it’s really important to start treatment as soon as possible. Some STIs (like herpes and HIV) cannot be cured, but there are effective treatments available to keep people with these STIs healthy.

STI Testing

Think about getting tested if you have had any type of sex—don’t wait for symptoms, since people often don’t experience any symptoms at all. 

You might want to consider getting tested for STIs when:

• You have new sexual partner(s).
• You or your partners have other sexual partners, and it’s been more than three to six months since your last test.
• You notice any changes in your body or have symptoms (like the ones listed above).
• You had sex with someone who has an STI.
• You had sex without a condom or the condom broke.
• You’re unsure of your partner’s sexual history. 

It’s a good idea to get tested for STIs regularly, usually every 3 – 12 months. For example, if you or your partner(s) are having sex with new or casual partners, you might want to get tested every 3 or 6 months. 

STI testing is fast, free and confidential. To find a clinic near you, visit the SmartSex Resource Clinic Finder.

Note: Confidential means that, by law, the health care providers you see have to keep your medical information private. They are not allowed to share your information with your parents or caregivers without your consent.

Prevention

There are many ways that you can protect yourself and your sexual partner(s) from STIs. One of the most important things you can do is learn to talk with your partner(s) about sexual health. These conversations may feel awkward at first, but they can often help to strengthen your trust and your relationship with your partner(s).

When having these conversations, it can be helpful to:

• Have the conversation in private
• Think of it as just talking about your health – it’s not an interrogation.
• Avoid making judgments about your partner’s past.
• Let your partner know you respect their privacy, and you expect them to respect yours.

Another way to prevent STIs is to use barrier methods like condoms. While condoms don’t protect you from all STIs 100% of the time, they can be very effective when used correctly. Other methods of birth control, like the pill, don’t protect against STIs. It’s important to use condoms even when pregnancy isn’t a risk.

To prevent STIs, it’s really important to use condoms every time and to use them correctly. This video explains how:

 

Other ways to help prevent STIs include vaccinations (like vaccines to prevent HPV). If you are worried about getting an STI, consider types of sex that have a lower risk of transmission. It’s important to know the risks connected to certain kinds of sexual activity. 

You can avoid or manage STIs with good communication, protection and regular testing.

Tip: Make sure you talk with any new partner about sexual health and STI testing. Suggest that you go get tested together. This shows that you are thinking about your own sexual health and that it’s not a matter of not trusting them. Going with your partner can also make the experience less intimidating. 

Tip: Call or email resources like SexSense if you have any questions about sexual health. 

Sex Sense is a free and confidential sexual health resource and referral service available Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. (PST) at 1-800-739-7367 (throughout BC) or 604-731-7803 (Lower Mainland). You can also submit your questions through the site’s contact form.

You can also locate a sexual health clinic here (Opt Clinic Finder) and here (Smart Sex Resource).