10 Questions to Ask Yourself to Make Sure You’re in a Healthy Relationship

People in healthy relationships do their best to make their partners feel safe and comfortable. If they ever unintentionally do something that makes their partner feel the opposite, they should take steps to apologize and fix the situation as soon as they know how the other person is feeling. If they’re making excuses or not listening, that might mean they’re not ready for a healthy relationship. 

TIP: If you’ve been in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation with the person you’re seeing, it’s always best to talk to someone you trust about it. They can help you get a sense of how serious the situation is, and discuss options going forward.

If you are feeling unsafe in your relationship, our violence and abuse section has information and resources to help you find the support you’re looking for.

We all change a bit when we meet new people, but it’s still important to feel comfortable being your true self around the person you’re dating. Although some change is inevitable, if you’re in a healthy relationship you won’t feel like you constantly have to change the way you act, dress or talk to please your partner.

Being able to respectfully disagree with the person you’re seeing, and being able to be honest with them about your feelings, is a key part of a healthy relationship.

TIP: Think about a time when you had a problem or a concern. Were you comfortable talking to them about it? If so, there’s a good chance you’re in a healthy relationship. If not, you may be in an unhealthy relationship.

Good communication goes both ways! If you find that you don’t have time or energy to hear what your partner has to say and understand their needs, it may be that you’re simply not that into them. If that’s the case, you may want to reconsider the relationship.

Trust is one of the most important building blocks in any relationship. You should be able to communicate when you feel like something is wrong and trust that your partner can be honest with you. If you feel like your partner is lying to you, is often jealous, or if they do things that make you question your trust, you’re most likely in an unhealthy relationship.

Equality keeps relationships safe and fair. In healthy relationships, people share power and don’t boss each other around. Both of you should be equally committed to the relationship and put time and effort into things like showing affection and communication.

If you’re feeling unsure about whether your relationship is fair or not, try talking to friends or family for an outside opinion.

Your partner should be your number one fan! People in healthy relationships listen to each other, help out with problems and show support to each other in public and in private – but that doesn’t mean that they blindly support bad behaviour.

If you don’t agree with something your partner is doing, you should feel comfortable communicating in a respectful way that doesn’t make your partner feel like they’re being attacked.

While you don’t have to like the exact same things, it’s important to try things out that each of you like and is important to you. In a healthy relationship, you support each other in your interests and don’t put each other down.

TIP: Try listing the things you do when you’re with your partner. Then cross off the things from that list that you don’t really like to do. How many things are left? Do both of you enjoy doing these things? Are there any new things that you could explore together? Try the activity together and have a conversation about what you’d like to try together.

It’s important to make sure you and your partner bring out the best versions of each other. If you or your partner feel bad about yourselves when you’re together, you’re probably in an unhealthy relationship.

Healthy relationships feel good! While being happy 24/7 is impossible, if you generally feel sad, scared, anxious, uncomfortable, or underappreciated when you are around the other person, or because of your relationship, then there’s something wrong.