8 Easy Tips for Venting to Friends

If what you want to say isn’t easy, writing will help organize your thoughts.

TIP: Sometimes it may feel like your thoughts are too jumbled to write down into coherent sentences. In that case it may help to do ‘stream of consciousness’ writing where you pick a set amount of time (think anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes) and just write whatever pops up in your head during that time

Talk to someone you trust and who won’t judge you!

TIP: If you’re having trouble picking someone, think about times in the past when you’ve gone through a tough time. Who was there for you? Who had good advice?

Are you just looking to vent or are you asking for help?

TIP: It may help to start the conversation with “I’m not looking for help, I really just need to vent” to ensure that whoever you’re talking to doesn’t frustrate you by trying to provide solutions you’re not looking for.

You can choose to vent face-to-face, on the phone, via text message, by chat…it’s up to you! But don’t do it publicly on social media! The internet is forever, and at some point you may not want people to know how you were feeling at a particular moment. 

You never know who will see your post and you certainly don’t want anyone butting in with unhelpful or hurtful comments, so avoid venting publicly.

TIP: Choose a form of communication that works for you and for what you’re trying to say. Chatting face-to-face may be difficult, but it does allow you to pick up on nonverbal communication.

Make sure you have your friend’s undivided attention.

TIP: It can help to ask when they have some free time so you know you’re getting their attention when they’re not distracted.

Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.

TIP: Going slowly can ensure you’re not misunderstood and you’re not telling your friend more than you’re comfortable with. Check in with yourself throughout the conversation to see how you feel. It’s okay to put a stop to the venting if you’re starting to feel uncomfortable!

TIP: While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longer term reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.

Venting on its own may not solve your problem. If you want to make a change there are lots of supports out there to help.  

TIP: A good place to start if you’re looking for tips and resources on mental health and wellness is foundrybc.ca